How to stop drinking (by someone who earns his money by selling alcohol)
Losing someone you love is always sad, especially when you know that it could have been avoided by having been sober.
Today, my now ex-girlfriend collected the last of her things from me and returned her set of keys to my apartment. The situation was complicated anyway, but what tipped the balance was something I did whilst drunk in the small hours of the day, an act of aggression (not against her, but bad enough) which this easy going, nice guy, wouldn't have dreamed of doing sober. I'm not sure what kind of monster came out of me, but its source was definitely out of a bottle.
After she drove away the next day, my first thought was to drink something and drown my sorrows. This is not an untypical response for many people, but seeing as it was the major cause of the problem it seemed like a ridiculous thing to do. Chances are that I would end up doing something stupid again. That's when the idea for writing this blog came to me. How could I turn a negative action into a positive one?
I've told myself many times, usually with good reason, that I should finally stop drinking. This time I feel more determined than ever and this blog will hopefully motivate me to do this. After a few days the ex will hopefully have cooled off and I will ask her to read this. I don't know if I will ever get her back, but at least she can see that someone she cares about is trying to do something to turn his life around. Above all I want to stay off the booze for myself. I'm not lying in the gutter but I have done enough bad things in my life under the influence to feel ashamed and even, in retrospect, frightened: sometimes I think that it's a wonder that I'm not dead or that I haven't caused someone else's death.
Hopefully, other people in similar situations will read this diary and motivate me to stay dry, as I hope I can also motivate them. I also hope that I can amuse you while doing this.
Feel free to comment and thanks for reading.
Slim
Today, my now ex-girlfriend collected the last of her things from me and returned her set of keys to my apartment. The situation was complicated anyway, but what tipped the balance was something I did whilst drunk in the small hours of the day, an act of aggression (not against her, but bad enough) which this easy going, nice guy, wouldn't have dreamed of doing sober. I'm not sure what kind of monster came out of me, but its source was definitely out of a bottle.
After she drove away the next day, my first thought was to drink something and drown my sorrows. This is not an untypical response for many people, but seeing as it was the major cause of the problem it seemed like a ridiculous thing to do. Chances are that I would end up doing something stupid again. That's when the idea for writing this blog came to me. How could I turn a negative action into a positive one?
I've told myself many times, usually with good reason, that I should finally stop drinking. This time I feel more determined than ever and this blog will hopefully motivate me to do this. After a few days the ex will hopefully have cooled off and I will ask her to read this. I don't know if I will ever get her back, but at least she can see that someone she cares about is trying to do something to turn his life around. Above all I want to stay off the booze for myself. I'm not lying in the gutter but I have done enough bad things in my life under the influence to feel ashamed and even, in retrospect, frightened: sometimes I think that it's a wonder that I'm not dead or that I haven't caused someone else's death.
Hopefully, other people in similar situations will read this diary and motivate me to stay dry, as I hope I can also motivate them. I also hope that I can amuse you while doing this.
Feel free to comment and thanks for reading.
Slim
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